The Aphrodite Scandal
by XxEviexX
Summary: Because she is bored, Aphrodite sends Cupid to shoot his arrows. However, it seems like she's seen everything before. So when she finds a totally unique relationship, she decides to play with it. Chaos and drama ensured. Better summary inside. AH AM
1. Prologue: In Which a Goddess is Bored

_A/N Hello all! I'm back, and with a new chaptered fiction! I know what you're thinking: Oh great, another fic to abandon. But this fic shall NOT be abandoned, seeing as I only plan to make it about 5 or 6 chapters. If it exceeds this amount, it shouldn't be more than 10 chapters. However, my goal at the moment is 5-6. This chapter is just an introduction, really. Don't expect much action. Next chapter is when the good stuff starts to happen. Please note that some of this fiction goes against Greek Mythology, and I am well aware of it. For example: Cupid is the Roman form of Eros, who was supposedly Aphrodite's son. However, he's not in my fiction._

_Summary: Aphrodite, the goddess of beauty and love, and her fairy friend Cupid wreck havoc on earth. It's just what they do. One day when she is bored, she decides to find a totally original relationship to play with. And that's where all the chaos begins._

_Rating: T for possible mild language and adult situations._

_Pairings: Artemis/Holly, Artemis/Minerva_

_**Prologue: In Which a Goddess is Bored**_

Aphrodite sighed. There was absolutely nothing to do! Hera was off torturing Zeus' latest mistress, it was Persephone's time to be with Hades, Iris was somewhere delivering a message (and plus, she was just a messenger), Athena was actually being responsible and taking care of her precious city, she couldn't stand Artemis who was off hunting anyway, and everyone else was either busy or way too boring to be around.

She tapped each finger on the desk rapidly, trying to see if it was even worth asking Aries or Adonis to be her date to a human party in disguise. _Maybe I could go by myself. I wouldn't be alone for long… _she thought naughtily. Then she dismissed the thought. Humans were so dull sometimes.

Aphrodite got up from her desk and walked over to the mirror. This was a favorite hobby of hers-- she could spend hours looking at her reflection. However, her waist-length wavy golden hair, dark violet eyes, and smooth, creamy skin(1) would not entrance her today like it could normally. She gazed at herself for a moment more, and then went to the western window, which had a spectacular view of the setting sun. Since the very beginning Aphrodite had insisted on a room with three windows: one facing the east, toward the rising sun, one taking up the whole ceiling to see the sun during the day, and one facing the west to observe the setting sun. Needless to say, Aphrodite wanted all the light she could possibly get during the day so that her mirror could be properly viewed.

As the sun dipped under the horizon, Aphrodite suddenly thought of something. Love had always entertained her, mainly because of the vast silliness of it. She was, after all, called the Goddess of Love because she caused _other_ people to fall in love. She herself had never actually fallen. Sure, she had her lovers (mainly Aries and Adonis), but these were mainly about lust. The fact that she had a doting husband also didn't particularly matter. The concept of true love was truly ridiculous in Aphrodite's eyes.

Now, back to her idea. _Why not wreck havoc on earth?_ she thought. She happened to have some fresh arrows, even though she hadn't played this game in a few decades. But she still considered it a fairly regular hobby, seeing that a few decades were like a few days to the immortal.

With this idea in mind, the goddess grabbed her universal (I mean that literally) communicator. She usually used it for prank calling Athena, but today she dialed a number that she hadn't dialed in a while.

The person at the other end picked up after the third ring. "Hello?" answered an auburn haired, pointy-eared individual who was quite good and impossibly young looking for his age of 952.

Aphrodite literally glowed as she smiled at the elf. "Cupid!" she squealed. "I haven't seen you for, like, ten years!"

Cupid smiled, amazed by the goddess' sheer beauty for the millionth time. "It's been 33 years, ma'am," he said.

Aphrodite's smile shrunk dangerously. "Are you correcting me, elf?"

Cupid tried to grin. "Of course not, my lady," he reassured the goddess.

"Good." Her smile was once again huge. Then she sighed theatrically. "Cupid, dear, you don't know how dull my life is at the moment," she complained.

The elf smiled at her sympathetically, simultaneously wondering how anything could be dull for a goddess with that amount of power and charm (not to mention beauty).

"People have long stopped worshipping me, and all of my 'family' really doesn't understand me at all." She pouted.

Cupid's breathing almost stopped. She looked as beautiful as… Well, as the goddess of beauty. Even before Cupid had become the famous Cupid, he had always been a sucker for beautiful things. He was quite easily recruited to Aphrodite's little pets.

"How may I help, my lady?" he asked politely, although he had a pretty big hunch of where this was going.

Aphrodite was all smiles again. Looking directly into Cupid's green eyes with her violets (through the communicator, of course), Aphrodite said, "Dearest elf, our little game has always entertained me greatly."

This confirmed Cupid's suspicion. He and the goddess always referred to making people fall in love as "their little game." A game they hadn't played for roughly three decades.

When do you wish me to come over, my lady?" questioned Cupid.

Aphrodite grinned and snapped her fingers. Instantly, Cupid was right in front of her.

"Must you always ask that question, my dear Cupid?" she asked, embracing the little elf.

"No ma'am," Cupid managed to choke out, totally forgetting that he was supposed to be getting ready for an outing with his wife.

Aphrodite walked over to two armchairs facing a large plasma screen. One of the squashy, crimson armchairs was fairy-sized. She sat down and then tapped the other chair, inviting Cupid to sit down. In between the chairs stood a small mahogany coffee table, on which rested a small keyboard for the plasma screen in front of them. Cupid gladly went to sit by her, wondering who would be the victims of their little game today. He noticed a couple of fresh arrows resting in the corner, and wondered why Aphrodite had them if they hadn't played their game for a while now.

Aphrodite snapped Cupid out of his musings by turning on the plasma screen. The background was pink, with the white shapes of the continents filling the screen. There were six different colored dots covering the continents symbolizing the nature of relationships: gray meant strangers, black meant enemies, light pink meant acquaintances, pink meant friends, hot pink meant more than friends, and red meant love. These dots covered almost every inch of the white continents, so that the only way of knowing that the continents _were_ white was because there were fewer dots in some deserts and frigid areas.

"Where shall we search today?" Aphrodite asked her elfin friend.

Cupid looked at her, surprised. She was letting him pick? That was new… Cupid looked at the screen, thinking. Maybe Peru. Or perhaps California… Ireland! That was, after all, his favorite human country.

"How about Ireland, my lady?" Cupid suggested.

Aphrodite tapped her chin thoughtfully. "Yes, that will do," she agreed. She then selected the country that was Ireland, and the country enlarged to fill the screen.

This next part was the part that always took the longest. Which specific individuals would unknowingly participate in their game this time? Cupid was especially worried about this. In the past, Aphrodite had come up with some really cruel things. One of the lesser examples was Romeo and Juliet, who actually hadn't liked each other at all before they were shot with the arrows. But this hadn't really been cruel—it just complicated their lives and then they ended up killing themselves… No, Cupid remembered one especially horrible time when Aphrodite had had him shoot a man who was already head over heels with another girl. This resulted in the man leaving the heartbroken girl and chasing after her best friend, who didn't even love the man. Both the man and the girl promptly committed suicide after being rejected.

Thinking about this made Cupid anxious. He was, after all, an elf. Elves had the biggest consciences of all sentient beings. But of course, Aphrodite completely ignored that fact and went right along forcing Cupid to mess with other people's love lives.

Aphrodite sighed, got up, and began pacing. "I've seen absolutely everything," she complained. "I need something totally new." She clicked randomly on Dublin, and the area filled the screen.

Aphrodite snapped her fingers. "Of course!" she exclaimed, remembering that she had updated her system so that she could just type in certain conditions and the computer would automatically eliminate relationships that didn't live up to the criteria. The goddess typed in "Unique," fully expecting no results to show up. However, the results were that every single dot on the globe was unique.

She sighed and erased the previous word, then typed in "Never before seen." The result she saw interested her, but interested Cupid even more.

There was a single hot pink dot on the outskirts of Dublin. The words "Fowl Manor" flashed on the bottom of the screen.

_Fowl Manor? _thought Cupid. _Isn't Fowl the Mud Boy who kidnapped my great granddaughter eleven years ago?_

Aphrodite smiled and clicked on the little hot pink dot. On the screen came up live feed from a room in the house, showing a 20-year-old human speaking into a… fairy communicator?

"… in a while," the human was saying. "I'm bored," he whined.

"You think I'm not?" replied a female voice from the communicator.

Aphrodite zoomed in and Cupid almost fell out of his chair from shock. The girl on the screen had auburn hair, hazel eyes (although one looked a bit different), pointed ears, and a very pretty face. A face that looked quite a bit like his. It was his great granddaughter, Holly Short.

"I have a desk job, Artemis," Holly kept on saying. "A stupid desk job. You think I don't want a bit of excitement?"

Aphrodite laughed. Not only was the human named after a female goddess, but it was the one goddess who annoyed the underworld out of her.

Cupid frowned. Artemis? So it _was _the Artemis Fowl who had kidnapped Holly.

Artemis sighed, totally unaware that he was being spied on. "Yes, I suppose you are correct. A desk job is the worst kind of boredom there is."

Holly raised an eyebrow. "Oh really? I was under the impression that you yourself had a desk job."

Artemis winked. "Yes, well, I was speaking about you, of course. For me, I'd much rather have a desk job than be an action hero." His face grew thoughtful. "But I'm still growing weary of my daily routine. When are you going to visit me again?"

Holly laughed. "Are you trying to say that I destroy your daily routine?"

"No, I was implying that you make life a lot more interesting than it usually is."

Holly grinned, but then she frowned. "I _think_ I might be able to come next Saturday, if I'm lucky. You wouldn't believe how much paper work I have. Not to mention I promised to help Mulch and Doodah with a case."

Today was Friday. Next Saturday? Artemis frowned. He didn't like waiting. "Anything I can help with?" he asked, referring to the case.

"Let me take a crack at it first. If I need any help, I'll call you."

"Or you could just visit," suggested Artemis innocently.

Holly rolled her eyes. "Why don't you just ask Minerva?"

"Because Minerva was just here on Tuesday," Artemis replied.

Of course, Aphrodite had stopped listening to their conversation after Holly had said she might be able to visit on Saturday. If she had it her way, Artemis would not have to wait that long.

"Cupid," she addressed the little elf. "Take those silver arrows over there. You know what to do."

_A/N Okay people, what do you think? I've already written the second chapter, I just need to type it up and I'm working on the third. Please review, I haven't written in a while. Then again, I haven't had a plot that's bugged me like this since _Of Roses and Kisses_. I think I like this better. It's going to be a lot more IC. I want to thank my wonderful beta, Nikki. You rock!_

(1)_What did you expect? Brown hair, brown eyes, and pimples? Not that I don't think brown hair and brown eyes isn't beautiful. I myself have brown eyes and hair. What I'm trying to say is "Don't hold the violet eyes against me."_


	2. Silver Arrow

_**Silver Arrow**_

Artemis hung up, frowning. It had been a while since his and Holly's last adventure. The last one had been when he had been seventeen (20 legally); that was three years ago. Since then the Fowl heir had settled down, or so everyone thought. He had even gotten himself a girlfriend. Of course, he and Minerva were only good friends now, seeing as they both found that they were not compatible as love partners. Well, that and the fact that Artemis was nowhere near ready to settle down.

The reason he was frowning was that he really was immensely bored, and the fact that Holly wouldn't be over for another week bothered him. He shrugged it off and went upstairs to his bedroom. Since it was only a bit after sundown, Artemis had no intention of going to bed. Instead, he got online and started researching popular rock bands of the last decade for his contemporary music class. However, he soon tired of reading on Fall Out Boy, Panic! at the Disco, My Chemical Romance, and other such ridiculously named bands.

Artemis sighed out of frustration and rested his chin on his palm while his fingers tapped his cheek. He sighed again and got up from his desk, deciding to take a shower.

---

A few centuries ago, the standard Aphrodite arrow had been pink, and required the victims she wished to shoot to be looking at each other for the magic to function. But nine decades ago she had started up a whole new system. The arrows were silver, until you magically bound the person-who-Aphrodite-wanted-her-victim-to-fall-in-love-with's DNA to the arrow, transforming it gold.

Silver arrows in hand, Aphrodite sent Cupid to Fowl Manor so that he could get a sample of Artemis Fowl's DNA. When he got there he remembered that he couldn't enter the human dwelling without said human's invitation. He hovered at the Mud Person's window with a pair of wings given to him by Aphrodite, shielded. What he saw was a wet-haired human in pajamas.

He called Aphrodite right away, mentally battering himself for forgetting. "My lady," he whispered, even though the window was closed. "I can't enter."

Aphrodite rolled her eyes at the fairy restriction, snapped her fingers, and hung up in his face. In a flash of pink sparks, Artemis' hairbrush appeared, with a few strands of black hair still stuck in the bristles.

"Bingo," said Cupid, putting the hairs into a test tube and sealing it up. A week later when all this chaos was over, a Juliet on holidays would find Artemis' favorite hairbrush under some of her rhododendrons.

After he completed the task of retrieving Artemis' DNA, Cupid suddenly found himself in the fairy metropolis, Haven City. Cupid himself lived in one of the small fairy villages, and hadn't been to the city in a while. It was just as bustling and noisy as usual. _How can Holly stand this?_ he thought, shaking his head. Cupid sighed, knowing that his great granddaughter would be at work at this time. So he settled down to wait.

---

Meanwhile in Section 8 HQ, Holly grumbled at the load of paperwork in front of her. Since the demons had become accustomed to life with other fairies, Section 8 had unofficially emerged with the LEP. However, since Sool had been booted out and Trouble Kelp had become the new commander, Holly didn't mind much. Actually, since she was still _technically_ in Section 8, her pay was better than most majors.

Ah yes, Holly Short was now a major. When Vinyáya had told her about the promotion, Holly decided not to start up a fuss. After all, Julius Root's words still had endless significance to her.

Holly yawned, already tired. Or bored, better said. She decided to take a break and go bug Foaly.

As she walked to Foaly's technology advanced cave (as she liked to call it), Holly passed Commander Kelp.

"Hello, Commander," greeted Holly.

Trouble smiled at his friend and ex-colleague. "How are you, Major?" he asked.

Holly half grinned, half grimaced. "Bored, but okay, Trouble. What are you doing here?"

"I'm heading to Wing Commander Vinyáya's office, asking her if I can have an office here," he joked. Section 8 had really nice and spacious offices. Cubicles were a thing of the LEP. "How about you?"

"I'm taking a break from the most boring pile of paperwork ever and I'm going to visit Foaly for a few minutes," she answered.

"Well, don't let me stop you."

Holly laughed. "All right. 'Bye Trouble."

"Take care, Holly," he said.

Holly walked down the hallway and into the room where Foaly used to spend most of his time in, before he got married. There he was, looking up something or another on his plasma screen computer.

"Hey Foaly," greeted the elf, taking a seat on a desk where multiple half-finished gadgets lay strewn and on which stood some pictures: Foaly and Caballine on their honeymoon, Caballine alone, a candid shot of Holly shouting her head of at a sheepish Mulch, a picture of Holly kissing a very red Artemis on the cheek on his 18 th birthday, etc.

Foaly wasn't surprised to hear Holly. After all, she did have to pass all of his extremely paranoid security just to get into his cave. He turned to face his friend. "Hello, Holly. I was just speaking to Mulch about how you never visited me anymore."

Holly raised an eyebrow. "Foaly, we had lunch the day before yesterday. I didn't visit you yesterday because I have a huge amount of work to do. The only reason I even _had_ lunch yesterday was because Mulch and Doodah wanted to take me out."

Foaly shrugged. "Okay, so it slipped my mind. Mulch told me that you promised to help him on a case. Need any help?"

Holly rolled her eyes. "Honestly, you and Artemis. I haven't even tried yet, and you already want to do it for me. Just so you know, I already told the Mud Boy that he can help."

The centaur pouted.

After Holly's little visit, the rest of her 8-hour shift passed in much of the same way as the first fraction. Distractions were few and far in between, and there was a perpetual pile of paperwork in Holly's inbox. All in all, she was happy to go home.

---

Cupid yawned. He had been waiting inside Holly's apartment for about 6 ½ hours now, and the elf was starting to feel ready for a nap. After all, he wasn't 200 years old anymore. However, Aphrodite called him, telling him that Holly had just left work and that she would be there soon.

"It shouldn't be long now, dearest," she promised. "After this, we watch how everything unfolds."

While Cupid had waited in the apartment, he had called his worried, sweet-tempered wife and told her that there had been an emergency he had to attend to and that he would inform her about it when he returned. Aphrodite always supplied Cupid with good excuses.

Trying not to drift off to sleep, Cupid managed to keep his eyes open only by repeating to himself that Holly would be back soon. Just when he thought that he would have to wait for another five thousand hours, Aphrodite called again.

"Go now and hide. Our victim is in the building, and she has her helmet off," she instructed. That simplified things.

Cupid barely had time to strap on his wings, go in a corner, and shield before Holly came though the door, helmet (with shield filters) under her arm, just like Aphrodite told him.

Cupid silently and sleepily followed his great granddaughter to her bedroom.

Suddenly Holly looked behind her, as if sensing that she was being followed. Seeing no one there, she suspiciously kept on walking.

Cupid quietly got an arrow, unshielded for just a second, and shot.

The arrow hit Holly square in her hindquarters, dissolving instantly on contact. Not a trace was left behind.

Cupid could make out a dark shape falling on the bed. Holly Short was out before she even hit it.

As soon as his task was completed, Cupid gave into his sleepiness and closed his eyes, knowing that he would automatically be transported to Aphrodite's side.

He was awakened soon after by Aphrodite's screech of fury.

"Wha—" he said groggily.

"You idiot fairy!" Aphrodite screamed. "Why is there a golden arrow among the silver?!"

It took Cupid a few seconds to comprehend the significance of a golden arrow with the silver. He gulped. He had, after all, only made one golden arrow, which meant that the arrow he shot at Holly was silver.

_**A/N**__: How was it? Great? Good? Bad? Tell me in a review! Sorry it was shorter this time, and not packed full of interesting stuff. However, the next chapter is when the chaos begins. Many thanks to Nikki, my wonderful beta. The band thing was sort of directed at her, the little MCR fanatic. Love you!_

_Excerpt from Chapter 3: 100 Percent Artemis Fowl:_

The computer answered her in a monotonous robotic voice. "Please specify the nature of the status which you wish to know."

"Romantic love," Aphrodite answered, eyes glinting with anticipation.

"Holly Short is running at—"

_Interesting at all? Should I continue? Oh well, I'll continue anyway. XD_

_Please review!!_


	3. One Hundred Percent Artemis Fowl

_**Chapter 3: One Hundred Percent Artemis Fowl**_

Artemis Fowl awoke the next day, refreshed. It had been a while since he had had a good night's sleep, due mostly to how busy he was.

He lay in bed with his eyes closed for a little bit longer, glad that there weren't any six-year-old twins running around the house. The Fowl couple had taken Myles and Beckett to Disneyland Paris for the week. They were scheduled to come back on Wednesday afternoon. Artemis frowned. He would have to come up with an excuse to get his family out of the house next weekend once again, if Holly were to come.

He sighed and got up, ready to start a new day. He brushed his teeth, washed his face, and dressed in his signature dark Armani suit. After he was appropriately ready for the day, Artemis went downstairs and out of his house. Since his parents were gone and Butler didn't live at the manor anymore, Artemis had been going to a café é in Dublin for breakfast. Their Belgian waffles were amazing.

Once he got to the café, the 17-year-old brunette over the counter greeted him. "The usual, Doctor Fowl?" Artemis had acquired a PhD in both physics and psychology at age 18.

"Please, Gabrielle," he said, settling into his usual seat by the window and setting up his laptop.

The rest of his day passed in a blur, but painfully slowly at the same time. Artemis hardly noticed what he did. For all the world, this Saturday could have been last Saturday—except for the fact that this Saturday was a lot quieter.

That evening, Artemis decided to call Holly again, since all other activities did not appeal to Artemis in the least.

After five rings, Holly's answering machine picked up. Her face came on the screen, telling Artemis to call back later, etc. He was surprised. The only time Holly didn't pick up her phone was during the day when she was asleep. Since it was 7:30 PM, Holly should have been at work, and therefore would have gladly accepted a phone call.

---

What Artemis didn't know was that, when shot by one of Aphrodite's arrows, the victim would sleep for 24 hours. Lucky for Cupid, this gave Aphrodite 24 hours to think and come up with a plan. After Cupid had gotten his beauty sleep, the goddess had some instructions for him.

"She should be waking up in a few hours," she told the elf. "When she does, I want you to follow her around and see how the silver arrow has affected her. This arrow have better not interfere with my plan too much, for your own sake."

Cupid silently prayed to every deity that he knew of, both fairy and human, that the silver arrow would have no effect on Holly.

A few hours later, Aphrodite's computer interrupted a game of strip poker—much to Cupid's annoyance—announcing that Holly Short had awoken from her arrow-induced slumber.

Both Cupid and Aphrodite glared at the screen, but for different reasons. Aphrodite glared as if just remembering something.

"Cupid, dear," she said, still looking at her computer. "I'm afraid that I made a silly mistake, earlier. You won't have to follow Holly after all."

Cupid looked at her quizzically. "My lady?"

Aphrodite looked at him and lit up the room with her smile.

"I had forgotten that this new system tells me my victim's love status," she explained. Then she addressed the computer, using voice command. "Computer, give me Holly Short's status."

The computer answered her in a monotonous, robotic voice. "Please specify the nature of the status which you wish to know."

"Romantic love," she answered, her eyes glinting with anticipation.

"Holly Short is running at—"

---

Sleep induced by one of Aphrodite's arrows is a strange thing indeed. Not only do you wake up feeling rested—who wouldn't after 24 hours—but you also awaken feeling better about your life and the world in general.

So you can just imagine how Holly must have felt when she woke up on Sunday.

To her surprise, she did not have any desire to be in bed. And suddenly the thought of all that had been bothering her didn't seem as bad as it had been yesterday (which, against her knowledge, had actually been the day before yesterday).

However, as soon as she got up, going to work and filling out forms seemed like the epitome of what she didn't want to do. She shook her head and looked at the clock. What she saw made her do a double take. How could it only be three minutes since she went to sleep? Had the clock stopped? She grumbled, muttering something about "stupid centaur clocks."

Since all of her clocks seemed to have stopped, Holly didn't know how late it actually was. She decided that she better not take chances and hurry up. She didn't want to be late.

Right as she was preparing to go out, someone knocked. Holly frowned, wondering who could be knocking right before she had to go to work. She opened the door and was surprised to find Foaly there.

"Hey Foaly. What are you doing here?" greeted the elfin girl.

"I came to see how you were doing," he replied.

Holly was confused. "You can just ask me at work," she said. "Speaking of work, aren't we late?"

It was Foaly's turn to be confused. "Holly, what do you mean? I just _came_ from work. Vinyáya said you called in sick."

Holly was shocked. She had missed work? So that explained… "Foaly, what day and time is it?"

The centaur looked at her weirdly. "It's almost zero four hours on Sunday."

Thank Frond that there was a chair near the doorway. Holly had to sit down. "Something weird is going on," she said as much to herself as to Foaly. "I've been out since about three twenty yesterday, and I've just realized that I don't remember going to sleep, and definitely not calling Wing Commander Vinyáya."

Foaly looked at her apologetically. "Holly, I'd love to stay and help you figure out your little mystery, but Cabby—"

"Yeah, Foaly, go home. I just need to think," Holly said absentmindedly.

The centaur snickered. "Good luck with that."

It took a moment for Holly to get the joke. "Shut up," she muttered, rolling her eyes. Her non-genius was often something Foaly and Artemis took pleasure in poking fun at.

A few minutes after Foaly left, Holly was still lost in thought. What could possibly have knocked her out for 24 hours? Unexpectedly, the elf's mind wandered to her human friends above ground. Or, more accurately, one specific human friend. She shoved the Mud Boy out of her head, and continued with her wondering.

Maybe she was so exhausted from work that she had slept the 24 hours on her own… But then who had caller her in sick? Frustrated, Holly moved on to the next possibility. She pictured it: maybe a gang of resentful goblins had broken in, had some not-too-bright plan to get revenge on her, and they . . . Artemis?

That's when Holly lost her temper. Who did that stupid Mud Boy think he was, invading her thoughts when she was trying to thing? Then a light bulb went on over her head. Artemis and Foaly had set this up, somehow. The call from Artemis yesterday (or the day before, whatever) had been meant to distract her, giving Foaly time to . . . What? Plant a very slow-reacting sleeping pill? That seemed stupid, even in her head. What did make sense, however, was that Artemis Fowl was somehow involved in this, and she was going to surprised him tomorrow to give him a piece of her mind in person. Well, actually, it would be later today.

The thought of yelling at Artemis face to face made Holly giddy. It didn't occur to her that she just couldn't wait for the face-to-face part.

---

"—one hundred percent Artemis Fowl II."

The glee in Aphrodite's violet eyes was almost scary.

Cupid was too busy watching her to let out his breath in relief. It wasn't until he started to turn blue that he remembered.

The goddess patted Cupid's head patronizingly. "This is very good. Now you won't have to be punished."

He would have rolled his eyes if Aphrodite wasn't looking as him. Her remark almost offended him. He wasn't stupid, after all.

Her next words distracted him from his indignation. "Now we sit back and watch Holly and Artemis."

Cupid gulped. He had almost forgotten about this. Fairy and human? This hadn't been heard of since . . . well, since forever. The computer was serious when it stated that this relationship was never-before-seen. This made Cupid very nervous. How could this possibly turn out?

_**AN: **__Well, this chapter was slightly longer than the last. Sorry updates are slow, but at least I'm not giving up! I am currently working on the fourth chapter. I won't give an excerpt this time though, since I'm not that far into it._ :P_ Anyway, please review to make me happy! It MIGHT make me hurry the update a bit. _;)_ Anyway, thanks for sticking with me this far. I'll hopefully finish this story in eight chapters instead of six, now, so we're almost at the halfway point! Next chapter is where Holly comes to visit. OOOH. What will happen? Stick around to find out. Once again, thanks to my WONDERFUL beta and friend Nikki. She's the bestest. _XD

_Disclaimer: None of the characters actually belong to me. I'm twisting Eoin Colfer's characters to do my bidding (hehe), and I'm actually giving personality to mythical Greek figures. At least, I hope. Tell me if I'm doing OK in characterization… in a review._


	4. Jolts and Butterflies

Hey guys

_**AN:**_Sorry for the LONG wait. Yes, yes, I changed my pen name. I felt like I had to, because I might want to expand and do Twilight fan fiction as well, and I'd feel weird having an exclusively Artemis Fowl pen name. While you're reading, please think about how I'm doing with characterization and review. 

_**Chapter 4: Jolts and Butterflies**_

_Sunday already? _was the first thing Artemis thought the next morning. He sat up, yawned, and then frowned. He knew today would be about the same as yesterday. Oh, joy. 

He completed his morning routine, and stepped out into the cool air. It was to the café once again. It really was fortunate that Artemis never got tired of Belgian waffles, both for his taste buds and for the café's business. Early birds (usually female) had started going to that café ever since chatty Gabrielle had bragged about the occasional meeting with the Fowl heir, hoping to get a glimpse of the famous physicist. 

But that's beside the point. 

After Artemis paid Gabrielle for the waffles—with strawberries today, _delicious_—he headed home, driving his silver Volvo. On his way, Artemis decided to call Holly later in the day, knowing that she should answer today. If she didn't, he would have to contact Foaly or Mulch to check up on her. Holly often teased him about this. A worried mother, she called him. Artemis grinned at the memory. 

He wasn't expecting what—or rather, _who_—was waiting for him at home. 

Lost in thought on his way to the front door, Artemis wasn't paying attention to his surroundings, and thus did not notice a blurry patch of air beside the door. He was halfway inside when a voice made him spin around, startled and incredulous. 

"Can I come in?" Holly asked, smirking. 

It took a moment for Artemis's brain to process that Holly was actually there, and not evidence that he had finally cracked because of boredom. 

"Holly!" he finally exclaimed. If he hadn't been so composed, he would have attacked Holly with a hug and then jumped around with giddiness. However, just because _Artemis _was composed enough doesn't mean that _Holly_ was. Temporarily forgetting the reason she was there, she squashed the air out of Artemis with a hug around his middle. 

_I'll never understand how something so small has so much strength_, thought Artemis, hugging the girl back. 

Holly stepped back, and Artemis observed that she looked slightly startled and a bit confused. Did his hugging her back startle her? This bothered him, and then he was confused as to why this _should_ bother him. He shook it off. 

"Do come in, Holly," invited Artemis courteously. 

Remembering the reason for her visit, Holly placed her hands on her hips and glared at him. She didn't move. 

Artemis cocked an eyebrow. "May I inquire as to why you are _glaring_ at me in that fashion?" 

"You don't need to 'inquire,' Mudboy. I suspect you already know." 

Artemis Fowl was virtually never confused, but the small being in front of him had confused him twice already (he was, at the moment, confused). He knew that while Holly was here, confusion would be inevitable. That was just the way it was with Holly. 

"Holly," he said, "I'm afraid that I'm not quite following you. I assure you, I have no idea why you would be glaring at me like that." 

Holly rolled her eyes and strode into his home gracefully. She made her way to a couch and sat down boldly, looking at Artemis as if daring him to object. 

"For all _you_ know, my parents and the twins could be coming down the stairs at this very instant," taunted Artemis. 

Holly laughed and shielded. "Are they home?" asked her voice playfully, as if she didn't already know. 

Artemis shook his head. "Obviously not, or I would not be speaking to you as I am now. I would not have let you into the Manor, and we'd be speaking in the gardens." 

Holly unshielded and rolled her eyes while Artemis strutted over to the love seat and sat down next to his favorite fairy (and favorite companion). 

The elf crossed her coffee-colored legs and faced Artemis. 

"So, you're telling me that you have no idea as to why someone called me in sick while I slept for twenty-four hours straight?" 

There it was again: confusion. She'd slept for twenty-four hours? Someone had called her in sick without telling her? She blamed him? 

Mismatched eyes wide, Artemis said, "Holly, I assure you that I have nothing to do with all that. What would be my motivation to drug you? I assume that's what happened." 

"Artemis, I didn't eat anything for quite a while before I blacked out, so that rules out being drugged by consuming anything. I don't remember feeling any pain at all before I blacked out. I only know that one second I was glad to be home and the next thing I know it's twenty-four hours later. Actually, I faintly remember a fuzzy feeling before blacking out. Sort of like having butterflies in your stomach." 

"Butterflies…" chuckled Artemis. 

Holly punched him on his arm, and that same startled look as before spread over her pretty face. She shook her head, and Artemis rubbed his arm. 

"There was no need for violence, Holly," he grumbled. 

Holly sighed impatiently. 

Artemis stopped rubbing his arm and suggested halfheartedly, "Perhaps you were so exhausted by work that you fell asleep on your own accord." He knew it wasn't true. 

"For twenty-four hours?" said Holly skeptically. "And who called me in sick?" 

Artemis was still convinced that Holly had been drugged. He told her so. 

"Do you think that a trace of the drug would be left in my system?" Holly inquired. 

Artemis thought about it. "We could find out," he suggested. 

They got up and Holly's shoulder brushed Artemis's arm accidentally. A pleasantly electrifying jolt of butterflies ran through her, and was followed with the same fuzzy sensation that she had described to Artemis earlier. 

_That's the third time that's happened in under fifteen minutes_, Holly thought to herself while following the Mudboy. _Maybe his drug theory is right. But who ever heard of a drug that makes people fall asleep for exactly 24 hours, and then hours after sends jolts of butterflies and fuzzy feelings at random moments? It seems strangely familiar. The sensation, I mean…_

A surprising new voice (her own, but one rarely heard except for missions in which she disobeyed orders but still ended up saving lives) spoke within her, _They aren't random moments, and you know it. It's every time you guys make contact. But now, for some reason, you're actually acknowledging it._

Physical-Holly was astounded at what her little voice had said. However, Holly's rational self completely ignored Holly's screw-rules self. 

She followed Artemis upstairs and into his study/lab (or, as he called it, laboratory). One side had a deep mahogany desk, arm chairs, a love seat, a fireplace, and reading lamps. The other side had a black lab table, test tubes, beakers, Bunsen Burners, lab coats, etc. The room's walls were covered by bookshelves and hundreds upon hundreds of books, all on subjects that interested Artemis (or had interested him at one point in his life). There was everything from physics to art to chemistry to literature to psychology to (Holly flinched) children's fairytales, folklore, and much more. 

"Whoa," she muttered under her breath. 

Artemis looked at her amazed expression and smirked. " 'Whoa' is an appropriate exclamation," he said proudly. 

"Have you actually read all of these?" Holly asked, picking up a volume of all of Shakespeare's work. 

"Well, no," Artemis answered. "What's the point of a library if you've read everything already? I planned ahead when I was about five and had my parents buy many, many books for future reading. However, the fairytales were bought by myself when I was a bit older, if you follow me." He winked at her. She knew he was referring to her kidnap. "I have," the human continued, "however, read approximately 3/4 of them." 

"That's…whoa," she said again, rather lamely. "I love reading and I love books, but I just never have the _time_ anymore to just sit down and relax with a novel. If I hadn't been stereotyped as a total jock in high school, I would have been the little book freak. Granted, the little book freak that would have punched the brains out of any fool who tried to stuff me into a locker." 

At the end of her mini-rant, Holly caught Artemis staring at her piercingly, as if dissecting her. Artemis had always been able to get into people's heads, and Holly was no different. She blushed and looked down, simultaneously cursing the blush, wondering where it came from, and thanking Frond that the blush wouldn't show on her dark skin. 

"Well, are you going to test me or not?" Holly finally questioned. 

"Oh, yes, let's do that," said Artemis hurriedly. "If you'll follow me." He led her to the lab table and, on a whim, lifted her onto it. 

They were both stunned for a moment. Blushing, Artemis muttered something about getting his equipment. 

Holly, nodded, dazed. This time, the jolt of butterflies had been particularly violent (and extremely pleasurable). The fuzzy feeling that enveloped her now was stronger than before, and it was lasting longer. What could be happening to her? 

"The faster you test me, Artemis, the better," said Holly. "I'm feeling a bit… lightheaded." 

"Right," came his reply. Holly could tell that he was still blushing, and she was still feeling lightheaded, dammit! 

Just as Holly thought the lightheadedness was fading, Artemis came into view with his arms full of who-knew-what. His face was still flushed, and he was looking down a bit shyly. Suddenly the butterflies attacked with a new rage, and Holly felt herself loosing control. Control over what, she didn't exactly know, but she knew that if this continued she'd loose all rationality. 

Artemis approached her with a syringe. "This will just take a second," he said, as if she were a small child afraid of being poked. 

Holly felt the thin needle pierce her arm, and she felt some of her blood leaving her. A sudden thought came to her. "Is fairy blood much different from human blood?" she asked. 

"No, actually," replied Artemis. "Human and most fairies share virtually the same chemical make-up. The biggest difference, naturally, is that fairy blood is immensely loaded with magic, while most humans have next to nothing, if any. It actually should be easier to detect toxins in your blood, since it's much less polluted than the average human. You can go sit on the other side of the room now, if you'd like." 

Holly smiled as she walked over to the navy blue love seat. Artemis always sounded so comfortable acting smart. It had always annoyed the hell out of her, but now the annoyance came with a touch of fondness. _Artemis will be Artemis_, she thought with a smile. 

"What are you smirking at?" questioned the Mudboy. Holly hadn't noticed that he had taken a seat quite close to her on the love seat. 

The butterflies were sent into hyper drive when she realized this, and finally Holly knew that the drug wasn't responsible for this. _I told you so_, gloated Heart-Holly. The tiny part of Rational-Holly that was still left scowled. 

Probably due to not getting a response from Holly (and probably from her glazed-over countenance), Artemis's intelligent face became concerned. 

"Holly, are you quite alright?" he asked, putting a hand on her shoulder. 

The last of Rational-Holly went out of the second story window of Artemis's study. 

"Holly? _Holly?_" He put his other hand on her other shoulder and twisted her toward him. Looking down at her face, Artemis tried to get Holly's attention. 

Unbeknownst to Artemis, Holly was immersed in memories of both of them together. Had _this_ always been there? Not exactly, she decided. There had always been _something_ that had clicked between the two of them, but this specifically hadn't developed until a few years ago, when Artemis was about 18. 

Artemis had finally resorted to shaking Holly. He stopped and put cool hands on either side of her face. "Holly! Can you hear me?!" he cried out, on the verge of panicking. 

Suddenly Holly's glazed-over eyes came into focus and she stared into his face with hard determination. Artemis was sure that she'd come to. Relieved, he started to say, "Oh, thank God! I thought you'd—" 

With a wild burst of completely reckless impulse, Holly cut him off mid-sentence with a fierce kiss. 

_A few minutes earlier_

Cupid sighed. He never got tired of these cute little romances. Occasionally Aphrodite would let them be, just to make Cupid happy. But most of the time she had to go further and ruin everything. He hoped this was not one of those times. 

"They're close, Cupid dear," Aphrodite said. The human had just instructed Holly to sit in the study side of the room. 

"Aha!" Aphrodite suddenly yelled, making Cupid jump. He looked at the goddess questioningly. 

"I've just figured out what to do with that blasted extra Golden Arrow with Fowl's DNA. You shall shoot one of Artemis's female acquaintances with it. I've been doing a bit of research on this Arty kid, and he used to have the hots for this French girl, Minerva. You'll shoot her, and we'll see whom he chooses: blonde, beautiful, genius Minerva (jeez, what's up with the goddess names?) or Holly, the girl who has saved his life many times and who is his best friend. It's the _perfect_ plan!" 

Cupid sighed, disappointed. _Oh well_, he thought. _It was nice while it lasted_. 

But then Holly kissed the Mudboy, and Cupid almost had a seizure. 

"Ooooh!" squealed Aphrodite like a delighted schoolgirl. 

Cupid was disgusted. How could he ruin this for his own great granddaughter? But he would have to, if he wanted to stay in Aphrodite's good books.

_**AN:**_Yes! This is my favorite chapter by far, and the longest, too! Muchas luff to my friend Holly (FirexAtxWill) for the beta. Twilight fans, did you find the Edward Cullen reference early on in the chapter? Shame on you if you didn't. Minerva comes into the next chapter, so what will happen? Again, a helpful review is greatly appreciated (try filling out these questions: What did I like? What can the author do better? Are Holly and Artemis in character, and if not, what can the author do to improve the characterization?) Well, until next time! 


	5. A Quarrel and a Golden Arrow

A/N: SO EXTRAORDINARILY SORRY FOR THE LOOOOONG DELAY.

It wasn't too hard to keep them in character this time, but I think that, after TTP, their reactions seem very off to me. But whatever. This is like TTP never happened, though I quite liked TTP. Loved it, actually. But NO SPOILERS, because I'm not evil. ;)

On with the chapter! And see if you can pinpoint where I subtly change point of views. Happy reading.

_**Chapter 5: A Quarrel and a Golden Arrow**_

With a wild burst of completely reckless impulse, Holly cut him off mid-sentence with a fierce kiss.

Having been caught off guard, Artemis' bodily instincts responded before his brain had a chance to. The young man reacted almost instantly to the elfin girl's kiss with impulse of his own, until his brain finally started to function again. It dawned on him that he was kissing Holly.

His eyes widened with this realization. "Whoa!" he yelped as he leaped up from the couch with a speed that could rival Juliet's, separating himself from Holly.

As soon as he was away from her, full realization of what had just happened hit Artemis with crippling force. Face burning with intense embarrassment, Artemis looked everywhere around the room – everywhere except for the girl on his couch. _This is not happening! No, it can't be happening… _he thought to himself.

That's when he heard Holly whisper, "D'Arvit." He finally fixed his piercing stare on her, and saw that her face was quite as flushed as his. She was looking down, eyes wide and her countenance was a mixture of shock, embarrassment, and a bit of hurt that she was trying to hide. All three emotions were probably caused by Artemis's reaction, and he knew it.

However, Artemis – being as tactless as ever – continued with his initial reaction. "_D'Arvit?_ I believe that is quite a bit of an understatement," he hissed. It was a bit scary, honestly.

Artemis's remark – and, indeed, the way he said it – made her recent epiphany fly out the window. He never failed to find a way to tick her off. "Well _excuse_ me," she sniffed, miffed.

" 'Ex… Excu… excuse me?'" he sputtered at her incredulously. "_You just kissed me!_" he yelled loudly at her.

"No need to yell!" she responded. Yelling, naturally.

" '_No need to yell?_' " Artemis exclaimed. "_You kissed me_!" he repeated.

She glared at Artemis, and he glared right back at her with crossed arms. They stood like this for a few moments, until Holly – who was closest to the door – spun around on the balls of her feet and headed out without saying a word.

"And where are _you_ going?" questioned Artemis after her, taken aback, as he followed Holly's brisk pace out to the hallway.

"I'm leaving," she spat, not turning back.

Artemis, being Artemis, proceeded to make things worse by insisting on having the last word. As he continued to follow Holly down the staircase, he said, "That is fine by me. Leave. I don't want you here, anyway."

Now on ground level, Holly spun around and met Artemis's gaze, defiance etched on her pretty features.

"Then why are you following me? And why did you _beg_ me to come?" she taunted.

"I was making sure you closed the door correctly on your way out. And I wanted you to _visit_, not to… to… _attack _me," he rebuked.

That's when Holly's small fist collided with Artemis's stomach. Air whooshed out from his mouth and nose, but he still managed to catch Holly's wrists before she threw another punch.

"What… is _wrong_ with you?" he exclaimed. "First you kiss me from out of the blue—" he ignored Holly's wince, "—and now you punch me. What is it about me that infuriates you so much?"

Holly scowled at him. "There was no need to react the way you did, moron," she informed him.

"Moron? I beg to differ… And how am I supposed to react when my friend kisses me?" Artemis inquired, trying to even out his temper.

Holly blushed and looked away, and suddenly Artemis felt a sharp twinge of guilt. _Ugh, I hate the fact that she can make him feel guilty!_ he thought. And then: _Did I seriously just think the word 'Ugh'?_

He sighed and let go of Holly's wrists. "I apologize, Holly. I reacted too drastically."

_You think?_ "No, no," she said, looking down. "I'm sorry. I have no idea why I did it. I'm sorry for kissing you."

She looked up at him and felt herself regretting that he'd let go of her wrists. Rational-Holly, who had once again made her appearance, scolded her. _Your stupid feelings are what got you—and therefore me—into this mess in the first place. _

_Oh, shut up, _replied Heart-Holly.

Rational-Holly was extremely affronted. _Don't get snappy with _me_. You're just sulking because Artemis didn't like the fact that _you_ kissed him. He would probably be perfectly fine with Goldilocks giving him a big smooch, _she taunted.

_So what if I _am_ sulking? _muttered Heart-Holly defiantly.

Rational-Holly was shocked. _But why in the world would you be sulking because he doesn't want to kiss you? He's your_ friend_!_

Heart-Holly mentally smirked in a scary imitation of the young man being discussed. _Why do you think? Hmmm? _

At that precise moment, Rational-Holly had the same epiphany Holly as a whole had had a few minutes earlier, when she had been occupied outside of the window. _Oh _nooo_… _she moaned. _I can't believe it! Mulch knew this would happen! What are we going to do?_

Heart-Holly shrugged. _Hey, thinking is your job. I only have to inform you about the irrational emotional truths you try to overlook._

_Good point, _mused Rational-Holly.

With that, both Rational- and Heart-Holly joined into regular, whole minded Holly. The whole little episode had taken all of about one second. _I must be going crazy… _she thought.

That's when she saw that Artemis's expression was pained, and quite confused as well.

"Artemis?"

...

_A few minutes earlier_

Cupid winced at each new development. They were both so difficult!

"Burrrrn," he heard Aphrodite mutter delightedly, commenting on something the human had just said. Her blonde hair fell to her knees as she leaned forward towards the screen, her face lit up with interest. She was immensely enjoying this quarrel.

Cupid felt sick. How could she possibly enjoy this? He himself had never particularly enjoyed it, but now it was worse. He hated it. _Why could that be?_ he thought. It was probably the fact that one of his relatives was involved.

Aphrodite giggled one last time, sighed, and then turned to her fairy friend. She had no idea about his qualms. "They will be making up pretty soon – I can tell. We have no time to lose. Cupid, dear, fetch the Golden Arrow, will you?" She – being as self-absorbed as she was – did not notice the fairy's horror-struck expression as he obeyed.

Cupid retrieved both the Golden Arrow and his bow from where they were leaning against the wall with a bunch of other Silver Arrows. He felt truly terrible for what he was about to do. _'They will be making up pretty soon…'_ she'd said. Maybe they could have gone back to being happy. What he was about to do would most likely destroy any chance at peace for anyone. Including his own.

He took a breath and turned. "I'm ready, my lady," he said emotionlessly.

Aphrodite smiled a winning smile. "Do me proud, little one."

With a snap of her fingers and a shower of pink sparks, Cupid found himself outside of a French chateau.

It was perfect timing, as it turns out, since the particular French beauty was just coming out of the front doors with a book tucked under one arm.

Cupid sighed very deeply. What would become of these three: Holly, Fowl, and now this Mud Maid, Minerva? He didn't have time to think – he knew Aphrodite would be waiting impatiently for the girl to awaken from her twenty-four hours.

He resignedly reached for his bow and Golden Arrow as the blonde girl continued to unknowingly walk towards him. He placed the Arrow on the bow and closed one eye as he aimed. Cupid breathed three times before finally letting go, knowing that he wouldn't miss. He never missed.

The Arrow flew straight and true right into Minerva's shoulder, where it dissolved instantly on contact, leaving absolutely no trace. She fell – not too gracefully – onto the ground, immediately unconscious.

Fortunately, Gaspard was on a home-visit for an extremely paranoid American actress.

...

_Meanwhile…_

"Artemis?" Holly repeated again. "What is it?"

He shook his head. "Nothing, Holly. It's nothing."

Holly was unconvinced, but apparently decided to let it go.

In reality, Artemis wasn't exactly sure what was wrong. There _shouldn't _have been anything wrong. He and Holly were apologizing, and that was it. He should be relieved that their little… quarrel was pretty much over.

But he couldn't ignore the fact that he hadn't been _relieved_ when she'd said that last bit. _'I'm sorry. I have no idea why I did it. I'm sorry for kissing you,'_ she'd said. _I'm sorry for kissing you. I'm sorry for…_

Artemis closed his eyes and tried to rid his head from these thoughts. They weren't rational, and they shouldn't be present. Period.

He opened his eyes to Holly's faintly concerned face. He smiled weakly at her. "Everything is fine. I do hope you forgive my bit of irrationality."

"Sure, Artemis," she replied. "Only if you forgive mine."

He shook his head. "There is nothing to forgive Holly." He could have hit himself for saying that. How would _anyone_ take that?

There was a beat of silence as his last comment left his lips, and Artemis tried to cover up his blunder with a clear of his throat (_Which is very bad for your vocal cords_, said the fact-spouting portion of his brain) and he started to say something when he was interrupted by an electronic beeping that came from Holly.

She looked confused for a second before she realized that it was coming from her communicator.

"Hello, Foaly," she answered in Gnommish after she saw the caller ID. A brief pause. "Really? Huh. That's pretty weird." Another pause. "Hmm. Okay then. Goodbye."

"This just keeps getting weirder and weirder," she muttered to herself. Then she turned to Artemis. "Apparently, Vinyáya granted me a week vacation," she explained. "Now, why would she do that?"

"Because you're a hard worker?" suggested Artemis half-heartedly.

She rolled her eyes at him. "Right. And Opal Koboi wants me dead because she fears my tremendous beauty overpowers hers," she said sarcastically.

Artemis coughed. "Well, at least you have a vacation, now. Any ideas of where you're going to spend it?" he asked innocently.

Holly laughed, her pulse racing. "I have one."

Somewhere far, far away, Aphrodite giggled. _This is sooooo going to be good._

... ... ... ...

A/N: Again, I'm a thousand times sorry for the huge delay. Please review and give me your much-appreciated opinion!

On a side note, I'm working on a post-TTP oneshot. Anyone interested?


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